Why China?

I 've been asked many questions about China and why I chose to adopt from there, how I "got" a boy, how many babies can they have, etc. So, I'm going to give the condensed version, but mostly I want explain why I personally chose to adopt from China rather than America.

China's 1 Child Law

China's one child policy was established by Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping in 1979 to limit China's population growth. Although designated a "temporary measure," it continues a quarter-century after its establishment. The policy limits couples to one child. Fines, pressures to abort a pregnancy, and even forced sterilization accompanied second or subsequent pregnancies.

It is not an all-encompassing rule because it has always been restricted to ethnic Han Chinese living in urban areas. However, of the 100+ nationalities in China, the Han nationality incorporates over 91% of China's population.  Citizens living in rural areas and minorities living in China are not subject to the law.  If women were found to be pregnant with a 2nd child without permission they were forced to abort their child or pay steep fines. Yes, abortion is legal in China. 

Why are there so few boys available for adoption?

In Chinese culture when parents are too old to care for themselves they go to live with their son. It is the wife's responsibility to care for the aging parents. If couples have a girl, they have no one to care for them when they become old.

Additionally, if a couple has a girl, they have no one carry on the family name when they die.

Why are children just abandoned?

In America we have a "safe house" law. Basically, if you have an unwanted child, you can take you infant to any fire, police, EMS station or hospital and surrender your child, no questions asked. In China, this is illegal.  Some parents will leave a child in a dark alley with no note giving the child's name, date of birth, etc. While others take more care to ensure their child is found safely.

Children are abandoned for a variety of reasons. It could be that their child was a girl and they want a boy. It could be that the child was born with a birth defect, or it could be because the parents could no longer care for the child.

From a personal aspect, Nathan has a stroke when he was born. He has SEVERE weakness on his right side and at the age of 2 still couldn't walk and his hand was frozen into a fist. After his parents nurtured him for 2 years I believe they realized his needs were more than they could care for. So, taking great risk, his family abandoned him in broad daylight in front of a police station. It takes a lot of love to be able to do that for your child.

What kind of birth defects do children have?

China's culture believes in feng shui. Feng means wind and shui means water. In Chinese culture wind and water are associated with good health, thus good feng shui came to mean good fortune, while bad feng shui means bad luck, or misfortune.

A child that has any type of birth defect is believed to have bad feng shui, thus they aren't wanted. A birth defect could be as severe as down syndrome, mental handicaps, blindness, deafness, or as simple as a hernia, birthmark or missing or deformed fingers and toes.

Why did I choose China?

I've been asked, with all of the children in America that need fostering and/or adoption, why did I choose to adopt from China?  Some people find this a very insulting question. I find it just the opposite. I think it's fair and worthy of being asked.

First and foremost, that's where God has laid it on my heart. I am drawn there. I looked for a long time at www.adoptuskids.org but my heart wasn't there.

Secondly, it would be virtually impossible to adopt an infant in America. One because, clearly both Kurt and I were fertile, and two because we weren't an minority.  In the same line with adopting from birth IF we  had been chosen by a birth mother, we would be required to cover all of her maternity costs up to and including the birth of the baby. Once the baby was born, the birth mother has the right to change her mind up until she is discharged from the hospital.

There was also the possibility to adopt an older child in foster care. I personally have a fear of a birth parent showing up unannounced at my home looking for their long lost child or worse yet, trying to regain custody. We have all heard the nightmares of parents giving up or losing their right to raise their child, only to return years later and have the ruling over-turned. That was a risk I wasn't willing to take.

I hope this has answered some of you questions. If you have any others, please feel free to ask me. I am an open book and willing to share any of my thoughts and experiences with you.