So, I posted the first couple of blogs about Nathan to see if anyone noticed. If they did, they never mentioned it, LOL. It's htt://twofromchina.blogspot.com. That's right, I'm trying to adopt again!
From the moment I started the adoption process with Nathan I have wanted to adopt again. As a matter of fact, I looked into adopting a second child before I'd even finished the first adoption! True story! Obviously that didn't work, but it's still always been on my heart.
I've put off adopting because in October of 2008 Kurt and I separated and in December of 2009 our divorce was final. Who in their right mind would adopt a 4th child while still single?! Anyway, adoption has stayed on my heart. About a month ago I sort of "fell" into adopting again.
I was on FaceBook and I saw this stunning girl who was available for adoption. As a matter of fact, she was 13 and a half and about to age out of the adoption process and concerned families were pushing to see her adopted. Her adoptive family would have to be already logged in with China to able to adopt her and clearly I wasn't (and still am not) but for whatever reason, this prompted me to look into whether I'd be eligible to adopt at all. From the FAQ's I'd viewed, China's rule is that single women with no more than 2 children were permitted to adopt. That right there should have stopped me, but it didn't. I called America World Adoption Association (AWAA), the agency I used with Nathan's adoption, to see if there was an exemption to this rule since one of my children was adopted. Long story short, I filled out the application, paid the fee, and started the process. Almost immediately I fell in love with a little girl named "Jenna" who will be 10 on October 1st.
The next step was to review "Jenna's" file with MUSC, complete a nurture plan and submit it to China and request an exemption from the 2 child rule and pray for acceptance. This is a 3 step process that cost about $1275.
I have been praying about this adoption the whole way through. I prayed that God would open doors for this to happen. Several doors have opened that have allowed me to start the process. I applied for a home equity loan so that I would have the money in one lump some and wouldn't have to ask for donations, complete fund raisers, or eat bread and water for the next 6 months. Well, the bank called and told me that I wasn't approved for the loan. When I got the call, I wasn't disappointed or sad, I just felt like the Lord said, "I have another way." I prayed and prayed and was 100% at peace with moving forward, but simply didn't have a way to do it.
This began an internal struggle in me. I felt at peace to continue moving forward, but didn't have the funds, so I couldn't discern if I was supposed to step out in faith and expect the money to show up or if this was me being headstrong. Maybe God was really shutting the door but I was wanting this adoption too bad to see it.
I began talking to other friends and family and asking for guidance. My pastor, a friend of mine, and my dad all came back saying what I'd felt all along, which was that they didn't see this as a closed door. More that it was a "wait, I have a better way". We all agreed that taking out a loan to adopt an orphan seemed contradictory to the Bible. The Bible says we are to care for widows and orphans, but it also says we are to owe no man anything.
Like I said, I have prayed and prayed all the way through this thing. I've constantly asked God to show me His will. He knows my heart, and as badly as I want to adopt "Jenna" I will walk away from the adoption if that is what He tells me to do, just to stay in His will. So, after being turned down for the loan and everyone confirming what I felt, which was to adopt debt free, I returned "Jenna's" file to AWAA. It hurt my heart so badly, but I felt that it must be God's will, and if that was the case then He has another child waiting for me.
That brings up to where I am now. I returned her file a few days ago and have set my mind to squirreling way money for the adoption. My mom came up with an idea today, but I"m not going to share it with you now. If it works out, I'll save it for another post. If it doesn't, then you get to see me post with joy every time I save another $5! lol
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