Project 778 and the Day That Changed My Life 11/09/12

After a nearly passing out yesterday from the heat, I opted for a cooler clothing wardrobe today... a skirt! Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but I did! Before we flew to Haiti I took the kids clothes shopping and Brittney found a skirt she thought I should buy. I didn't really care for it, but I humored the kids and tried it on. The kids LOVED it so, thinking it would be impossible, I told them if they found a shirt that matched it, I'd buy it. Meanwhile, that still, small voice told me I should buy it because I would need it. Almost immediately, Brittney came running back with a shirt that matched EXACTLY! Needless to say,  bought the outfit.


Brittney and I woke up pumped and ready for another day of loving on these amazing children! Ok, truly I was pumped and ready! Brittney was ready to fast forward to tomorrow and meet Mirveneldine! LOL The project was only about 15 minutes from our resort. It still amazes me, that these schools are in a huge gated enclosure. But even more surprising was the fact that we saw very few children. I just assumed they were in their classrooms. Little did I know the surprise that was awaiting us!

In the picture below is the gate we drove through to enter the project. The building is the church. Every project we visisted had a church on the premises. Compassion is unapologetic about Jesus being the center of their mission. Spreading the word of God and teaching the people they meet about Jesus isn't negotiable to this organization, and it's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about Compassion.

Anyway, we pulled into the the project and drove down the side of the church and parked in a little courtyard surrounded by the school buildings. We got off the bus and were directed to the church. We stepped into the church, and THERE were all the children!  The school has 900 children attend it, 300 of which are Compassion sponsored children. I am pretty sure that ALL 300 children were packed into that church. It was standing room only! As the first person crossed the threshhold into the church, they started playing the American National Anthem! They were cheering and clapping as if ther lives depended on it! If you were an unknowing visitor, you'd have thought we were Olympic athletes or some famous group of dignitaries the way we were treated. I have no doubt in my mind, if they'd had a red carpet, it would would been rolled out for us!

 

I have tried several times to upload videos here but it just doesn't work. But if you get the chance, go to my FB page and watch the videos from my trip. They are so touching.

 

We spent about 30 minutes in church. After playing the American National Anthem, they played the Haitian National Anthem. I have never seen or heard a group of children sing so loud in all my life! They sang, they danced and they read scripture. One young lady wrote a story of how Compassion had changed her life and how, without a sponsor, she wouldn't have been able to attend school and she'd never have learned about God and His love for her.

Towards then end, the children had a parade. Each child in the parade carried a gift. Some carried coconuts, others mangos, and some carried sugar cane. At the end some young boys danced for us and we were invited to join them. Of course, I was the first one off the stage! I'm not normally a dancer, but I didn't dare miss this opportunity! There's another video you don't want to miss! GO TO MY FB VIDEOS!

Once the service was concluded we were escorted into a small reception room behind the church where all the food the children presented were waiting for us. The room was decorated with signs the children had made, along with samples of clothes they'd sewn. 

Two things stood out to me during this time. The first, was just how little the children and this school had. As I looked around I was struck by how much they lacked in basic needs. The rooves had holes in it, many walls weren't complete. The buildings lacked electricity and running water.

The second thing that stood out to me was, despite all they lacked, they gave us SO much! They gave us their very best! There was more grace and love in this one school than I've seen anywhere in America.  It's hard for me to express my real feelings because in the physical sense of the word, the school and children are very, very impoverished.  However, spiritually and emotionally they are some of the richest people I've ever met. You could SEE poverty, but you FELT the richness of royalty. 

As we stood in this reception room you could see curtains moving. If you waited, or moved the curtains yourself, you'd see precious little faces peering back at you! You really would have thought we were movie stars! lol For about 30 minutes we mingled in the reception room eating the fresh fruit the children had given us and drinking coconut milk, which is not nearly as appealing as you'd think!

 

After our refreshments, we split into 2 groups. Half of us went on a tour of the school, while the other half went to play with the children. Brittney and I went on the tour. The school was very crowded with the 300 or so students that here this day (there was no school that day, so only the Compassion children were present, I think). I can't imagine how packed this school must be when all 900 children are there!

 In the picture above, we are sitting in a 6th grade math classroom. Look at the look of shock and awe on everyone's face... That was our response when our guide told us this little room holds 50 children per class! The next picture shows the schools newest addition. It is an additional building they added, post earthquake. It's as simple as you can get, with large open "windows" for light and air.

 

Once again, even at this school the children are camera hogs! All it takes is showing one of them their photo and they ALL want in on the action!

 

After our tour, it was our turn to play with the children while the other group went on a tour of the school. These children were so much fun! However, if you were going to hand out stickers, you better be really tall or have a body guard! We passed out stickers, played "patty-cake", jumped rope, and took 100's of pictures of these precious children! Below, you can see Jeannot, passing out toys to a mob of children! Jeannot is a pastor and Compassion employee. He was an invaluable part of our trip!

Around 1pm we gathered back into the reception hall for lunch. Another fabulous meal of rice, good ole fashioned lasagna, cooked vegetables, and a vegetable goat stew! Yes, that's right, goat stew! And I must say, it was AWESOME! I made a point to step out of the box and always try something different at each meal. I have to admit, I'm a big fan of goat! The cooks even made 2, very scrumptious, cakes!

After dinner, we able to take some of the pictures with us the children had made. Brittney and I got 3 pictures and were able to get our picture taken with the artists! Afterwards, we said our good-byes and headed to the bus. It was time to split into our groups and go to the home visits.

If you have made it this far in my blog, congratulations! You are about to read how this trip has forever changed my life! I have prayed over this trip for months prior to it's arrival. I felt God was going to do something. I didn't know if it was to meet a child I should sponsor, change my outlook on life, or something else, but I knew God would show himself in some way.

The home we visited was that of a preacher and his wife. The wife doesn't work and they have 6 biological children, the oldest being about 20. Several of the children are sponsored by Compassion. But none of this makes them special. They live is a mud/concrete home with a holey tin roof and dirt floor. They sleep on the floor. No beds, no water, no electricity. The home isn't any bigger than about 300 square feet. This doesn't make them special either. The majority of Haitians live in this style and size home.

 

Their church is right next to their home. It's probably twice the size of their home and doubles as a school. The school has canvas for walls and another holey, tin roof. The supports are limbs and small trees tacked together to make longer poles for support. Their average attendance... 150 people EVERY week! I can't imagine how they fit all those people into this church!

 

This too is amazing and heart breaking. But what really sets this family apart is the fact that, on top of their large family, and church they are supporting, they have taken in 10, yes TEN children that were orphaned in the earthquake and flood! 

This family has nothing but love to give and are giving it to their fullest ability. There is actually 1 child and the husband not pictured here. These were the sweetest children and the were so enamored by us! One of asked where everyone slept and we were told the family is utilizing 2 abandoned homes nearby for the children to sleep in. the chilren in this photo are all wearing pajama tops because that's all they have. None of the children have shoes. None of the little girls had underwear, and the little boy closest in the picture was completely naked.

 

I was so moved by this family. My heart just broke for this family. I prayed over them and what I could do for them. Even after I returned from the trip I couldn't get this family off of my mind.  I feel like God is prompting me to go back. Go back and build them a home.... and a church! So, I have made the initial contact with Jeannot in Haiti to see if this is even possible and he said YES! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! The plans are just in their infancy, and I'm sure it will take about a year to make the plans, coordinate with the folks in Haiti and raise the money, but I plan, God willing, to put a team of folks  together and build this family a home they can all live in and a more substantial church they can all worship in!

 

So, there it is! That's my exciting news! Please pray for this family, this mission trip, and everyone involved. In the near future, when the foundational plans are laid for this trip, I will be calling on you, my friends, for help. Please consider, and pray about how you can help. Maybe it's financial assistance, maybe you have great ideas for fund raisers, or maybe you'd like to join the trip! Whatever it is, any help will be very much appreciated!

Project HA-336

On the morning of November 8th, Brittney woke up to the hum of our air conditioner and gentle crash of waves upon the shore just outside our room.  We stood there a moment enjoying the view, and fresh air after we opened the windows. The breath-taking view and cool morning breeze made it easy to forget we were sitting slap-dab in the middle of one of the most impoverished countries in the world.

I still really didn't have any idea of what to expect on this trip, but I was excited to get going! Brittney on the other hand was ready to fast-forward this day and the next, so we could get straight to meeting Mirveneldine! I told her that was like eating dessert first! Anyway, we had to get up early and get our breakfast because the bus was leaving at 10am. We had a 2 hour drive ahead of us.

Once all of the sardines packed into the can, we struck out for Project HA-336. While the Project took over 2 hours, the facility was really only about 50 miles north of our resort. The drive is so time consuming due to the conditions of the roads and the fact that we had to take a detour due to a bridge that has been washed away from recent flooding. Honestly, the drive felt more like 20 minutes. I was so captivated by the beauty, destruction, filth, splendor, color, it's bustling streets and laid-back natives. What I loved most about our drive was the raw, unadulterated, tour we received. There was no touristy hype, no putting-on-airs, it was just Haiti, pure and simple.

If you look in this picture to the right, you will see that those are homes along the edge of this river. And there are piles and piles of trash slopping into the river. And if you notice the man squatting on the river's edge, well, I'm not going to tell you what he's doing. What isn't in this picture are all the women, standing and sitting in and near the water, washing their clothes. It's no wonder water is as contaminated as it is. The government's infastructure is practically non-existant, so there's no hope for establishing a system for clean water in the near future.





Finally, we arrived at the project. As we pulled up to the facility we found Herculian sized gates protecting the Project.  As we entered the gates, even as we were still driving forward, we could hear beautiful singing.  In front of us were about 30 women, all singing songs of praise and welcoming us. I know this will come as a surprise to those of you who know me, but I was so moved by this that I actuallys started crying.

Once they greeted us we went into their chapel for a short service. As we walked toward the Chapel I couldn't help but notice the run down look of faded, peeling paint. A door tottered on one hinge, shades of brown colored the tiles on the roof and the remnents of by-gone rain showers streaked the walls from the leaky roof. 

 Despite the cover of this book, what lay inside was pure joy! There were about 30 mothers, and even a few fathers.  Even though the lines of hardship were etched into their faces joy, praise, and thanksgiving exuded from every ounce of their being. They didn't wallow in self-pity, they didn't lament over what they don't have but delighted themselves in the opportunities they'd been given. They praised God for His love, mercy and favor. I expected down-trodden sorrow, but received glory (no pun intended) contentment, and peace of mind.

 

If you were surprised at the fact that hearing these women sing songs of gratitude when we arrived made me cry. You maybe even more surprised to learn that I cried a second time during that short service.  We sat in a church, with no windows and no air conditioning. Two groups of people from two different countries singing, Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art in two different languages was more moving than words can describe. There were no instruments or microphones. Just the sweet sound of voices, half in Creole half in English, all giving glory to God.

 

After a beautiful young lady read the 23rd Psalm 2 women put on a short skit. They were speaking in Creole and our translator hadn't yet translated the skit for us, but it was still clear what was taking place... Kind of like watching an opera. One young woman was telling the other about Compassion's Child Survival Program and the 2nd woman was trying to blow her off. The first woman gave her what-for and told her she needed to lose her attitude and about all of the benefits for both her and her child from the CSP. In the end, the 2nd young lady came around and became part of the CSP. Afterwards, one of the women from the skit sang a song she'd written herself about vaccinations. You see, in Haiti, vaccines are extremely expensive, and since most Haitians live on less than $2/day, vaccines just aren't an option.  Her song thanked us for our donations. She told how, because of Compassion she and her child were able to recieve vaccinations and were now healthy.

 

Project HA-336 is both a Child Survival Program facility and a school, something you don't see too often.  The school was a horseshoe shaped building. It had concrete floors and cement block walls about 4 feet high. Above that were metal bars and tin roof. The only electricity was in the offices, which were just as open to the elements as the classrooms. The bathroom had a small toilet and a bucket full of water. Once you'd used the restroom, you had to refill the toilet with the bucket of water.  Toilet paper had to be thrown in the trash because what little sewer system they have can't handle flushing toilet paper.

 

After our service we were given a tour of the facility and we had the opportunity to chat with some of the older children, and simply love on and play with some of the littler ones. There was so much joy in that place, that I'm pretty sure it was coming out of my pores... or maybe that was just sweat, but either way, there was so much love you couldn't contain it. It was facinating to watch these children. You could tell most of the children had never seen a white person before because, they would walk up to us and touch us, as if to see if we were really real! And even funnier was to see there faces after taking their picture. From their reactions you would think that they'd never seen themselves before. I took a picture of a little girl and I turned my camera around and showed her the picture of herself. She lit up, beaming from ear to ear! A few of the other children saw the image and they were like moths to a flame! They all came running over, encircling anyone with a camera begging for their picture to be taken! It was so funny! They'd push and shove and give one another "the hand" to get their turn in front of the camera! Several little girls knew instinctively threw their hands on their hips, kicked one hip out to the side and put on their best sassy face!

And stickers!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, stickers! The children turned into vultures when we broke out the stickers! What a hoot! As soon as someone pulled out a sleeve of stickers, they were absolutely swarmed by children! It was so funny to watch someone standing amid a sea of children, hands raised in the air begging for a sticker! Children and them on their hands, cheeks, foreheads... a few even got creative and put them on their belly to try and hide them, so that they could hopefully get another one!

Above is Sandra, passing out stickers. To the right is one little boy showing off the stickers he collect.

After spending some time with the children we were able to visit with the women again. In the Child Survival Program, besides the vaccinations the mothers and children receive, the mothers also learn about nutrition for their children and themselves, sewing, cooking, reading and writing. The mother's demonstrated all there new skills. One woman showed us how well she could write her name. A month prior she couldn't write at all! 

 

The woman in this picture is modeling a dress she made. This picture doesn't do it justice! It looks like she bought it right out of a store! And below are the 2nd best donuts I've ever eaten! With all due respect to the beautiful woman who made these donuts, there is just nothing on earth better than a melt-in-your-mouth Hot-n-Now donut from Krispy Kreme!

 

 Once we completed our tour of the school and finished playing with the children, we went to the cafeteria for lunch. I wish I could tell you how good it was, but I made a poor wardrobe decision that day and was so over-heated I couldn't eat. I did have a bite of Brittney's fried goat and it was AMAZING! There was fried chicken, bar-b-que chicken, goat, brown rice, black rice, plantains, and several vegetables. In the picture to the left, plantains are in the back, fried potatoes (potatoe chips?) to the left, brown rice in front and black rice on the right.

By then end of lunch I'd cooled off and was feeling better. It was time for us to go. The children followed us all the way to the van, and if we'd let them I'm sure they'd have climbed on board with us. I know where were here to be the hands and feet of Jesus. To shower His love on these beautiful children. The joy on their faces is plain to see. But, if you look at Brittney you can see the joy that these women and children brought to us. I know we were there to serve them, but I'm quite certain they ministered to us more than we ministered to them.

After leaving the project we split into groups and went to 3 different homes of children who are sponsored through Compassion. Brittney and I were in a unique group for our home visit. When we first arrived at the Project, Kevin, one of the men on the tour got to meet a young lady he used to sponsor, Marianne.

 

The sponsored child program is for children ages 3-20. Marianne is 21 now so she aged out about a year ago. However, Compassion found Marianne and was able to bring her to the Project to meet Kevin. So for our home visit, Brittney and I got to go to Marianne's home. When we arrived at Marianne's home we were stunned at what we saw. The first shocking thing was a chicken that came running past us! While a chicken running isn't shocking, the fact that he had about 6 inches of snake hanging out of his beak was! From there Marianne and her sister brought out some chairs from there home. They didn't have quite enough, but more chairs just kept coming from everywhere! I don't know if all the neighbors knew what was going on, but the were eager to pitch in and help. Marianne's story is a bit of a sad one. Her mother passed away a number of years ago. Her father has been sick for about 5 years and is unable to work. She has a 20 year old sister who lives with her and her father. Both of the girls went to school and Marianne took her final exit exam but didn't pass it. If you fail you have to take more classes before re-taking the test. Unfortunately Marianne had aged out of the program by then and never went back to finish her degree.

 

Marianne and her sister are both unemployeed and they live in a home that is about 200 sq. ft. It's made of a rock/mud mixture similar to concrete, though certainly not as sturdy. They had a tin roof and had a sheet on the dirt for a bed. I'm not sure what the building in the back is for, but their home is the building in the foreground. The door on the back half leads into their living/kitchen area. The next door leads to their bedroom.  What was most heart-breaking was, when asked both girls stated their dream was to become a nurse. Yet, both seemed resigned to the fact that being unemployeed and living with their father is their lot in life. Our visit was fairly short, maybe 20 minutes.

Afterwards, we loaded back on the van and headed back to the resort to decompress. I can assure you, after all we'd taken in, decompression was needed! The day encompassed joy, sadness, fun, sorrow, smiles, tears, hope, resignation, aspirations and dispair.

 

 

A Heart For Haiti

In January of this year I received an email from Compassion stating that they would be hosting a tour to Haiti. Among other things on this trip, we would have the opportunity to meet our sponsored child. I felt immediately that I should, not only go on this trip but, take Brittney too. I have to interject here, that John and Ginger Jacumin were vital in helping me make this happen. Thank you two so much! I love you!

Anyway, I started making plans, and as part of Brittney's birthday, in March, I gave her a "ticket" entitling her to 1 free trip to Haiti to meet Mirveneldine.  We spent the next 6 months fundraising, planning, packing, and buying gifts for Mirveneldine for and her family.

Finally, November 6th came and Brittney and I set out for the Myrtle Beach airport. (Thanks Dad, for getting up at 3AM to drive us to the airport!!!!!)  Brittney and I flew to Ft. Lauderdale, then rented a car and drove to our hotel in Miami.  That afternoon and evening we spent at the hotel and were able to meet many of the folks traveling with us. The day was fairly uneventful, minus trying to drive in Miami interstate traffic. CRAZY!!!!!

On the morning of the 7th, we all boarded a plane and had a smooth 2 hour flight to Port Au Prince, Haiti. As we were descending into Haiti, even from thousands of feet in the air, you could see the poverty, tent cities, as well as flood and earthquake destruction. When we landed and debarked the plane the destruction continued. We walked from the plane into the airport through temporary portals because the interior of the airport was still in rubble from the earthquake.  From the portal, we climbed on a bus, and took a quick trip to the luggage claim.  As we exited the bus we were greeted by musicians playing great Haitian music. When we entered the building portion of the airport, we found nothing more than a large open room with 1 luggage turn-style, 2 wooden booths for the Customs employees and about 4 metal fans mounted in various places along the ceiling for "air conditioning".  None the less, the whole airport was buzzing with excitement and anticipation. The group, 25 of us, gathered our belonging and filed out of the airport, one-by-one, like a flock of waddling, luggage lugging ducks! From there were trudged through the 100% humidity, 92 degree November heat, through hundreds of badgering Porters to our bus. 

Our bus seated about 23 comfortably, be we had a ton-o-fun fitting a few extra in on flip-down, center aisle streets. Little did we know this bus would be our only "safe haven" for real A/C besides our hotel room!  Once on the bus, the fun REALLY began! Driving in Haiti is NOTHING like driving in the US! Haitians drive on the right side of the road, as we do, but that is where the similarities end! I can assure you, driving, or even riding, in a vehicle in Haiti is NOT for the faint of heart!  Luckily for us, Jean Baptiste, our driver, was a real pro! The rules of the road are: 1. He who has the bigger vehicle wins, and 2. If you get honked at, you better move over and move FAST!  It is common place for one vehicle to pass another while a 3rd vehicle is approaching!  If an on-coming vehicle is approaching while your passing a car, your vehicle straddles the center line, and the car your passing drives off onto the shoulder.  Stop signs are merely a suggestion and speed limits don't mean squat! Fortunately we only had 2 near misses. One was with a guy pushing a mattress in a wheel barrow and the 2nd was with a goat (3 actually!).  If you look at this picture, you will see a truck parked on the right plus 3 "lanes" of traffic heading north. There were just as many heading south. Yea.... this was only supposed to be a 4 lane road!

Our first stop was at a nearby hotel, for lunch. As we traveled to the hotel we traveled down mostly gravel, pot-hole filled roads, past tent cities and road-side markets. If you've ever flown internationally, you know that it really doesn't matter where you go, almost every country has a McDonald's or some other fast food restaurant. Such is not the case in Haiti, at least not in the southern or central portions of the country. I can't speak for the north. As we exited the bus we were escorted to a beautiful room decorated with red table clothes along with 2 napkins; 1 blue one, cascading out of our water glass (yes, it was empty), and 1 white one by our plate.  We had a wonderful meal of fish, pork ribs, fried potatoes, corn, and shredded carrots. We were sure to avoid the water and salad bar.

After lunch, we rolled ourselves back onto the bus and headed out on a 2 hour, spellbinding, journey to our resort. This drive was our first real taste of the poverty that abounds in Haiti. No matter where you go, the road-ways are lined with an endless sea of road-side markets. There you can find anything from padlocks, to shoes, clothes, vegetables, and I even saw pigs feet!

The one thing that could not escape me as we drove through Haiti, despite the poverty, despite the trash and filth, Haiti is a remarkable beautiful country! There is no escaping it! As we drove along the road, most times we were enveloped by a shimmering iridescent blue sea to our left and lush, green, towering mountains to our right.

By the time we arrived at our resort it was almost 6 and way past dark. We were greeted by friendly staff at their outdoor reception desk. As we checked in, everyone was entertained by little tan geckos scurrying along the columns and ceiling. One of the unique things about this resort is, with the exception of the bedrooms, EVERYTHING is outdoors. Reception desk, bar, lounge, restaurant and even the snack bar. 

After checking in, Brittney and I lugged our bags up 2 flights of stairs to the 3rd floor. Apparently, some of the men had already nabbed all of the bell hops for their luggage! LOL  When we entered our room, the first thing we noticed was, it was HOT. I had a moment of panic thinking our rooms wouldn't have A/C. But my fears were quickly put to rest when I spotted the wall mounted A/C. It was a quaint little room. Very simple. A water closet, shower and sink, 2 beds with just a set of plain sheets, thin blanket, and a pillow. My favorite part.... no TV and no phone!

Once dumping our bags, Brittney and I were both racked out within minutes!

Tomorrow, I'll post about the rest of our journey. I was going to put it all here tonight, but I had more to say than what I expected!

Compassion International

I want to share with you my trip to Haiti. But, before I do, I feel like I need explain the purpose for the trip first. I could have just put this in the same blog as my trip, but it's important enough I think it deserves it's own blog.

In January of 2011, the kids and I were listening to WayFM and they had a week long sponsorship drive for Compassion International. This is an excerpt from Compassion's Mission Statement:

Compassion International exists as a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.
Founded by the Rev. Everett Swanson in 1952, Compassion began providing Korean War orphans with food, shelter, education and health care, as well as Christian training.
Today, Compassion helps more than 1.2 million children in 26 countries.

So, as the kids and I were driving around, we were listening to the radio and as a family, we decided to sponsor a child. Our child is a now 6 year old little girl named Mirveneldine. In January of this year, I received an email from Compassion stating that they would be hosting a Sponsorship Tour to Haiti in November.  Among other things on this tour, we would be able to meet our sponsored child.  I knew right away it was a trip I wanted to take so I started the process. I'll get into the rest of that in my next blog. For now, I want to say that, if you can spare $38/month, please, please, please consider sponsoring a child! You WILL change the course of the rest of their life! YOU may very well be the difference between them learning about God and His love for them. YOU may also be the difference between them eating or not.

Maybe you don't want to commit that much. Compassion also has a Child Survival Program. 
The Child Survival Program helps save the lives of babies and mothers in poverty utilizing local churches to assist mothers of at-risk infants and toddlers. Mothers can give their children a fighting chance for healthy development with the supplies and training provided by your donations. Your donation will supply:

• Prenatal care
• Nutritious food and supplements
• Ongoing health care

• Infant survival training for mothers
• Spiritual guidance and education
• The loving support of a local church

 Participating in the CSP only costs $20/month. You could even do it as a 1 time gift. Through the CSP you don't sponsor 1 specific person, you sponsor the project as a whole.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now, but I am very passionate about Compassion. So please, consider Sponsoring a child or a Child Survival Program.

http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm

Did you notice my URL?

So, I posted the first couple of blogs about Nathan to see if anyone noticed. If they did, they never mentioned it, LOL. It's htt://twofromchina.blogspot.com. That's right, I'm trying to adopt again!

From the moment I started the adoption process with Nathan I have wanted to adopt again. As a matter of fact, I looked into adopting a second child before I'd even finished the first adoption! True story! Obviously that didn't work, but it's still always been on my heart.

I've put off adopting because in October of 2008 Kurt and I separated and in December of 2009 our divorce was final. Who in their right mind would adopt a 4th child while still single?! Anyway, adoption has stayed on my heart. About a month ago I sort of "fell" into adopting again.

I was on FaceBook and I saw this stunning girl who was available for adoption. As a matter of fact, she was 13 and a half and about to age out of the adoption process and concerned families were pushing to see her adopted. Her adoptive family would have to be already logged in with China to able to adopt her and clearly I wasn't (and still am not) but for whatever reason, this prompted me to look into whether I'd be eligible to adopt at all. From the FAQ's I'd viewed, China's rule is that single women with no more than 2 children were permitted to adopt.  That right there should have stopped me, but it didn't. I called America World Adoption Association (AWAA), the agency I used with Nathan's adoption, to see if there was an exemption to this rule since one of my children was adopted. Long story short, I filled out the application, paid the fee, and started the process. Almost immediately I fell in love with a little girl named "Jenna" who will be 10 on October 1st.

The next step was to review "Jenna's" file with MUSC, complete a nurture plan and submit it to China and request an exemption from the 2 child rule and pray for acceptance. This is a 3 step process that cost about $1275.

I have been praying about this adoption the whole way through. I prayed that God would open doors for this to happen. Several doors have opened that have allowed me to start the process. I applied for a home equity loan so that I would have the money in one lump some and wouldn't have to ask for donations, complete fund raisers, or eat bread and water for the next 6 months. Well, the bank called and told me that I wasn't approved for the loan. When I got the call, I wasn't disappointed or sad, I just felt like the Lord said, "I have another way." I prayed and prayed and was 100% at peace with moving forward, but simply didn't have a way to do it.

This began an internal struggle in me. I felt at peace to continue moving forward, but didn't have the funds, so I couldn't discern if I was supposed to step out in faith and expect the money to show up or if this was me being headstrong. Maybe God was really shutting the door but I was wanting this adoption too bad to see it.

I began talking to other friends and family and asking for guidance. My pastor, a friend of mine, and my dad all came back saying what I'd felt all along, which was that they didn't see this as a closed door. More that it was a "wait, I have a better way". We all agreed that taking out a loan to adopt an orphan seemed contradictory to the Bible. The Bible says we are to care for widows and orphans, but it also says we are to owe no man anything.

Like I said, I have prayed and prayed all the way through this thing. I've constantly asked God to show me His will. He knows my heart, and as badly as I want to adopt "Jenna" I will walk away from the adoption if that is what He tells me to do, just to stay in His will. So, after being turned down for the loan and everyone confirming what I felt, which was to adopt debt free, I returned "Jenna's" file to AWAA. It hurt my heart so badly, but I felt that it must be God's will, and if that was the case then He has another child waiting for me.

That brings up to where I am now. I returned her file a few days ago and have set my mind to squirreling way money for the adoption. My mom came up with an idea today, but I"m not going to share it with you now. If it works out, I'll save it for another post. If it doesn't, then you get to see me post with joy every time I save another $5! lol

Why China?

I 've been asked many questions about China and why I chose to adopt from there, how I "got" a boy, how many babies can they have, etc. So, I'm going to give the condensed version, but mostly I want explain why I personally chose to adopt from China rather than America.

China's 1 Child Law

China's one child policy was established by Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping in 1979 to limit China's population growth. Although designated a "temporary measure," it continues a quarter-century after its establishment. The policy limits couples to one child. Fines, pressures to abort a pregnancy, and even forced sterilization accompanied second or subsequent pregnancies.

It is not an all-encompassing rule because it has always been restricted to ethnic Han Chinese living in urban areas. However, of the 100+ nationalities in China, the Han nationality incorporates over 91% of China's population.  Citizens living in rural areas and minorities living in China are not subject to the law.  If women were found to be pregnant with a 2nd child without permission they were forced to abort their child or pay steep fines. Yes, abortion is legal in China. 

Why are there so few boys available for adoption?

In Chinese culture when parents are too old to care for themselves they go to live with their son. It is the wife's responsibility to care for the aging parents. If couples have a girl, they have no one to care for them when they become old.

Additionally, if a couple has a girl, they have no one carry on the family name when they die.

Why are children just abandoned?

In America we have a "safe house" law. Basically, if you have an unwanted child, you can take you infant to any fire, police, EMS station or hospital and surrender your child, no questions asked. In China, this is illegal.  Some parents will leave a child in a dark alley with no note giving the child's name, date of birth, etc. While others take more care to ensure their child is found safely.

Children are abandoned for a variety of reasons. It could be that their child was a girl and they want a boy. It could be that the child was born with a birth defect, or it could be because the parents could no longer care for the child.

From a personal aspect, Nathan has a stroke when he was born. He has SEVERE weakness on his right side and at the age of 2 still couldn't walk and his hand was frozen into a fist. After his parents nurtured him for 2 years I believe they realized his needs were more than they could care for. So, taking great risk, his family abandoned him in broad daylight in front of a police station. It takes a lot of love to be able to do that for your child.

What kind of birth defects do children have?

China's culture believes in feng shui. Feng means wind and shui means water. In Chinese culture wind and water are associated with good health, thus good feng shui came to mean good fortune, while bad feng shui means bad luck, or misfortune.

A child that has any type of birth defect is believed to have bad feng shui, thus they aren't wanted. A birth defect could be as severe as down syndrome, mental handicaps, blindness, deafness, or as simple as a hernia, birthmark or missing or deformed fingers and toes.

Why did I choose China?

I've been asked, with all of the children in America that need fostering and/or adoption, why did I choose to adopt from China?  Some people find this a very insulting question. I find it just the opposite. I think it's fair and worthy of being asked.

First and foremost, that's where God has laid it on my heart. I am drawn there. I looked for a long time at www.adoptuskids.org but my heart wasn't there.

Secondly, it would be virtually impossible to adopt an infant in America. One because, clearly both Kurt and I were fertile, and two because we weren't an minority.  In the same line with adopting from birth IF we  had been chosen by a birth mother, we would be required to cover all of her maternity costs up to and including the birth of the baby. Once the baby was born, the birth mother has the right to change her mind up until she is discharged from the hospital.

There was also the possibility to adopt an older child in foster care. I personally have a fear of a birth parent showing up unannounced at my home looking for their long lost child or worse yet, trying to regain custody. We have all heard the nightmares of parents giving up or losing their right to raise their child, only to return years later and have the ruling over-turned. That was a risk I wasn't willing to take.

I hope this has answered some of you questions. If you have any others, please feel free to ask me. I am an open book and willing to share any of my thoughts and experiences with you.

Papa's Story

This post would probably be more accurately labeled as Miracles or something along the lines of all the  many miracles that transpired during the course of Nathan's adoption, but my dad's story is my favorite of them all so, he's getting title honors. LOL

My prayer throughout Nathan's adoption would be that the adoption would be so much "of God", that I couldn't tell Nathan's story without telling how God orchestrated it. Well, my friends, that's exactly what I got!

First and foremost is that fact that the adoption even happened. I can count on my hands how many times I have HEARD God, and while His voice may not have been audible to others, it was VERY clearly audible to me that winter day standing on my porch railing taking down Christmas lights.

Second, is the fact that God told me we were going to adopt a child debt free. Ok, big deal, right? RIGHT! International adoption cost approximately $30,000! I took a part-time job which raised a good bit of the financing, but another substantial portion came from wonderful friends and family.  Everyone gave so generously! I was in constant amazement and awe every time a donation would come in the mail. We raised almost to the penny, exactly what the adopt cost.

Third was the fact that, while my plans were to adopt a healthy girl, younger than Ashleigh, we ended up adopting a special needs boy older than Ashleigh. (Proverbs 16:1 We may make our plans, but God has the last word.)

Next, was our China "connection".  I'll tell you more about this after I tell Papa's story.

When Kurt and I made the announcement that we were going to adopt a child from China I was a little more than surprised to find out my dad was not thrilled with the idea. Ok, he HATED the idea. He didn't understand why we needed to go to some "communist country" to "get a kid" when there were plenty right here in good ole' U S of A. Try as I might, I couldn't get him to like the idea, so finally, I just made it a point NOT to discuss our adoption process in front of Dad.

Finally it wasn't until December 31, the day I saw Nathan's picture, that I knew we were adopting a boy. On January 2, 2007, when our Family Coordinator sent us Nathan's file for review, I invited my parents over to play cards. This was nothing out of the ordinary for us, so I knew they would be unsuspecting. I had Nathan's picture already pulled up on my laptop but had the laptop turned around so no one could see it. I figured when the time was right, I'd surprise them. Well, as we were playing cards, my mom asked me, "have you heard anything from the adoption agency?".

I said, "as a matter of fact, we have!". I turned the computer around and said, "meet your grandson!".  Mom burst out crying (no shocker there) and when I looked at my dad, he was crying too! 

In a semi-shell shocked voice I said, "what are YOU crying for????"

Dad said, "because you don't know what I know". To which I replied, "please, do tell us!"  Dad said earlier that morning he'd been having nightmares, so he got up out of bed at 5am and went in the living room and started reading his Bible and praying. As he was praying the Lord told him, "this adoption is 'of me' and you need to get over it!... and oh, by the way, they're adopting a boy."  Dad said, instantly all of the anger, resentment, bitterness and every other unholy feeling he had about the adoption was gone!

What came next was almost as amazing. Dad wanted to know when we would go get him. I told him it would still be a few months, that we had a few more things that had to be done.  Dad was absolutely adamant that we go get him RIGHT. THEN! He wanted his grandson HOME! I think he was the most impatient of us all!

There are somethings in life that are out of the human realm of control. And changing my dad's attitude about our adoption was one of those things. There was nothing humanly possible we could do to make him approve of the adoption, it was only through God's grace and love that dad came around.

So, back to my "connection". After giving mom and dad the 4-1-1 on Nathan, Mom got on the Internet and started researching Nathan's orphanage. As God (as opposed to luck) would have it, she found a link for some missionaries that were serving in Nathan's orphanage! Mom emailed them a got a reply! The family had been there for 10 years. They were there the day Nathan was found and were able to tell us his whole story... things that otherwise would have forever been a mystery to us. We were able to send Nathan pictures and gifts and get updates while we waited to travel.

There are so many other miracles that happened along the way. I'm sure I'll edit this post multiple times as I remember them.